"Love & Respect" - Dr Emerson Eggerichs

Ok, so you may know that I am big into relationship communication and gender issues and those kinds of subjects. This book is ok. It is supported by the group "Focus on the Family". There is a LOT of fluff to it. Here are the main points:

• The Crazy Cycle: Without love -> She reacts -> Without respect -> he reacts -> without love... One of you simply has to be the bigger person and break the circle. Here, Dr E offers a nice little gem: You can be right, but wrong, at the top of your voice. Makes you think about how you speak to your partner, eh?
• Men see and hear the world through blue hearing aids and sunglasses; women through pink... Sometimes you need to go purple.
• Rather than fighting when you feel hurt, state: (women) That felt unloving. Did I just come across as disrespectful? (men) That felt disrespectful. Did I just come across as unloving?
• The Energizing Cycle: His love -> motivates -> Her respect -> motivates -> his love...
• For men: How to spell love to your wife: C-O-U-P-L-E... Closeness, Openness, Understanding, Peacemaking, Loyalty, Esteem...
• For women: How to spell respect to your husband: C-H-A-I-R-S... Conquest, Hierarchy, Authority, Insight, Relationship, Sexuality...
• The Reward Cycle: His love -> regardless of -> her respect -> regardless of -> his love...

The rest is supports of Biblical verse and personal testimony's. But the take-away is: Men need respect. Women need love. Regardless of what you are getting from your spouse, give them what they need. Eventually, they may come around!